I apologize for the lack of recent posts, things have been a bit hectic on my side. However, I plan on re-writing the html to make this site more user friendly and interesting. After the HTML overhaul, I will be posting new posts every week or so.
Friday, July 6, 2012
That's right ladies and gentlemen. It's that time. Time to take out your tinfoil, duct-tape it to your basement windows, grab your girl/boyfriend, and prepare for the 100 scary movie count down. They are not in any particular order, but they must all be watched before the best holiday ever created, Halloween. So, my fellow enthusiasts, it's time to start the count down.
- Midnight Meat Train- Let's start this out with a bang. Though you probably have never heard of this one before, and it sounds like a poorly made gay porn movie, it's a great flick. It's a different take on horror movies and may change the way you think about them. Though you have never heard of it, the production quality is top-notch with great acting and effects. Check it out at your local Red Box or Family Video and grab some popcorn for this gory horror thinker. Check out it's wiki page for more.
- The Evil Dead 1-Though it was made in the 80's, it's a pretty good movie. It tries to be genuinely scary, but it sets the stage for the second and third movies, both of which focus on comedy more than horror. It's a good watch and worth the hour or two.
- The Evil Dead 2-After the first one was made, they decided to throw in a few laughs to lighten it up and make it a bigger hit. It worked. This one is a bit better than the first one, and still tries to be a little scary, but the laughs kind of throw it off a bit.
- Army of Darkness-The third and final installment, they finally decide to stick with the laughs and throw the horror almost all the way out, but hey, you've watched it up to here, right?
- 28 Days Later- Never saw this zombie flick, but I have always wanted to. From what I hear, it's very well done and deserves the time it takes to watch.
- 28 Weeks Later-The sequel to the movie above. If you watch the first one, you have to watch the second, right?
- Underworld: Rise of the Lycans- The third movie in the Underworld series, it tells the back story of the Lycans, or the werewolf creatures. Have yet to see it, but it has some good reviews.
- Underworld-This 2003 vampire/werewolf action/horror movie has always been one of my favorites despite it not being that scary. I decided to throw this one in because it's technically a scary movie, and at this point, we are far enough away from Scaretober to let it slide.
- Underworld: Evolution- The second of four in this series. Once again, a solid flick.
- Underworld: Awakening- The fourth and final movie in this series, once again, is a pretty damn good movie and definitely worth the time.
- Wrong Turn-Quick! what's the first thought that comes to your mind when I say "incestuous cannibalistic zombie hillbilly's"? If it was "damn, that would make a really freaky movie that I want to watch" then congratulations, you're officially a scary movie fan. if not, you'll learn... Anyway, it's a decently scary movie that kinda grosses you out with, well, you can probably guess (Don't worry, there's no zombie hillbilly sex)
- Human Centipede-Though I watched the South Park version of it, I don't think that counts. It takes place in Germany in a crazy doctors house. He decides to make a human centipede. It will probably haunt your nightmares for the next month or so.
- Silent Hill- C'mon, you didn't think I'd forget about the movie based on one of the scariest video games of all time, did you? It's a very well done movie, and you cannot call yourself a scary movie buff without watching it in your darkened basement.
- Dawn of the Dead- The newer one. where they take refuge in a mall in the midst of the long-awaited Z-Day. Not that scary to the seasoned buff, but still a bit spicier for the beginner. Watch it for the scares, the stupidity of the characters, or the lovability of the dude in the gun shop who apparently didn't know how to lock the door to his roof. Oh Andy, next time buy some peanut butter before the apocalypse
- Autopsy-A woman looks for her boyfriend in a creepy hospital.... pretty good movie to watch at around 2AM. Try to go to the hospital after watching this.
- The Ruins - A great, almost unknown film about some ancient Mayan ruins that...do scary things to a small group of college-aged explorers. pretty creepy movie that may or may not hold your interest. At least watch it until you know who the bad guy is.
- The Crazies- A good film that takes place in my native state (Go ISU!) and is a pretty good movie that is about something that turns regular people into crazy, crazy killing machines that terrorize their once-upon-a-less-crazy-time neighbors. definitely worth a watch.
- High Tension- OK, I admit. I saw this one on Netflix and decided not to watch it in favor of The Expendables, but it does look pretty good. A few websites state that, despite some plot-holes, it is a pretty good movie that was made by the French. So, take a chance on this and watch it, tell me what you think. I know I will.
- Martyrs-Do you crave gore? Do you want an intelligent horror movie? Based on numerous reviews, that's exactly what this French-Canadian film is.
- Thir13een Ghosts-Despite an O.K. rating on IMDB, this remains a good movie in my book. It's about this family that inherits a glass house that has 13 ghosts (never would have guessed that...) imprisoned inside. Great movie with some tense moments
- The Ring-Holy. Crap. The first time I saw this movie, the girl scared the living hell out of me. It's a great movie that features the spirit of a girl (who drowned in a well) that kills everyone exactly seven days after they watch a movie (you probably all know exactly what I'm talking about due to it's outgrown fame)
- The Grudge- This creepy movie is a re-made version of a movie originally from...wait for it...Japan. (If you really want to be scared, try to find the original Japanese version with either English subtitles or English dubbed) It follows a girl who has to stay in a creepy old house. Little does she know, a very dark, insanely creepy and gruesome spirit inhabits the same house.
- The Hills Have Eyes- This movie is about a family who gets trapped in the hills of the Southwest and faces a group of psychotic killers hell bent on murdering their entire family in some really gruesome ways.
- The Exorcism of Emily Rose-This movie takes place mostly in a court room; but despite that fact, it still packs a pretty good punch in it's flashback-heavy plot, making this flick one of the best movies about exorcisms.
- The Devil Inside-Have you ever seen one of those movies that looks 100% terrifying just from watching the teaser trailer? This is one of those.
- If you have any requests, ideas, or comments, please let me know. Now, enjoy getting ready for Scaretober!
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Everybody has, at one point, had a teddy bear. but most of ours hasn't had a raunchy sense of humor that is sure to crack us up every few minutes. It's a shame, really....but back to the review. Although the plot is sketchy until the climax, it's a great movie that is sure to make you laugh your stuffed, bear shaped ass off. It features Seth MacFarlane as the voice of Ted the Teddy bear, Mark Wahlberg as the main character, and Mila Kunis as the somewhat-bitchy girlfriend. there's a laugh every minute and at the end, you have a pretty good idea of what's going to happen, but it's still definitely worth a watch. I give it about 3.5 rotten zombie heads out of 5 if you want a movie with a plot, but if you just want to laugh your ass off, it's about 4.5 out of 5. Lemme know what you think about it in the comments.
Friday, June 1, 2012
I recently watched The Dictator in theaters. Many people know the main actor, Sacha Baron Cohen, from his previous movies, Borat and Bruno (Although he was also in Hugo). And many people loved it, but those that didn't fear The Dictator is similar to Bruno and Borat in comedy; that is, that it reveals too much (male full frontal nudity) to be funny. However, with the Dictator, we see that it has matured beyond just using dick jokes for laughs. It is genuinely funny, it has a good plot, and only shows his junk for about half a second (which is substantially better than his previous comedies) All in all, I give it 4 Brain-dead zombies out of 5
Monday, May 28, 2012
Today, as almost all of you know (because you probably have the day off) is Memorial Day. And while it is fun to enjoy today with about ten shots followed by a "nap" in your back yard, it's important not to forget who this day is really about. So, to all the active and retired military personnel, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for your service to this country. God Bless you all.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
I recently watched a movie called "The Grey" with Liam Neeson. It's a good movie about a few plane crash survivors who have to fend off wolves. In it, they talk a lot about death and faith. It made me think a lot about my own faith. In highschool, I always said that I wasn't afraid of death, just the process because I "knew where I was going" But recently, I started thinking more about Faith, God, life, and death. For some reason, I'm becoming more scared of death. Not because I don't believe in God anymore, but because of my (seemingly) shifting opinions on issues like the death penalty, same sex marriage, and other controversial issues. In the upcoming month or so (while I compile the list of 100 scary movies to watch) I will probably be posting a bit more about these issues. feel free to like it on StumbleUpon, comment, or just visit again.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
So yesterday was the opening day of The Avengers, and I somehow managed to go to it despite being short on time and money. Before the review starts, let me tell you this up front. Search your couch cushions and car ashtrays. Try to come up with the 9$ it takes to see it in theaters because it...is...awesome. It had the original actors for Thor, Iron Man, Loki, Captain America, and Fury. The new actors were for the Hulk, Black Widow, and Bulls-eye. If You were debating seeing it, I would highly recommend it. Despite being action packed and suspenseful, it was also genuinely funny, in both a mature way and kid-friendly way. The suspense was actually suspenseful and involving. You felt like you were right there with them through the tough spots and the funny moments. All around, I give it 4.5 zombie hordes out of 5. It's a great movie.